The About Me Section

I’m green to blogging but I already like it. The ability to express oneself at any given moment for the world to see and also experience is a beautiful gift. I could also see it becoming a daily fix, much like lyrics a part of my everyday routine. At this very moment, I am in solitude. Blasting out small but powerful Logitech speakers 16,685 people chant for their favorite. The sound of the two wrestlers hitting the mat bounces off the wall and echos throughout the apartment. My cousin is watching the pre-recorded live stream of the WWE’s Royal Rumble. To my left, mellow voices with heartache in their tone drift my way. My mother locked in on her soap operas. In the distance I can hear a singing Hannah Montana doll being squeezed to the point of power outage- my little sister imitating the Disney star. With all this around, it is still only you and I. Anyways I should get on with this, I noticed the “about me” section that should be in my profile and I thought: Well this is what the blog is about really. Its about me, its about you, its about the world. How we interpret it, I’m only including every memory I can remember because one day I just might not remember. And I have a pretty interesting life if I do say so myself. Ok, seriously this is a letter that was written to me by a female I met at Clark Atlanta University. If you want an “About Me” the best place to start is with my tattoos, they explain who I feel I am. She went as far as to write to the 3 different people she saw inside of me. This is the about me section....




12/5/2005
Mr. Heat,

I realized that I could never have loved you because I never knew the real C. Heat. Instead, I knew Innocence, Guilt, and Guilty Pleasure. It was those three that I grew to care for, comprehend, and understand. This letter might seem completely irrelevant or pointless on your behalf, but I had to write this to fuse everything from my heart to your heart together. I now know I can never take the place of any other girl that you have every loved, but it was fun as I tried to believe that between us there could possibly be a future. I remember telling you I had never loved before, and you told me you were not in love with me but you did love me. Since, I don’t know who I fell for, I have split this letter into several parts, allow each person it is addressed to comprehend the thoughts of my heart and then allow yourself to understand my pain…..and why I must leave before my I stop crying water and cry blood from the pain my heart felt and the anguish my soul contains.

Sincerely,
Miss Jackson
P.S. If you feel the urge to write back, please do!

Innocence,

It was the soft and sensual look you extended to me that ignited hidden fantasies about you, not to mention it was mixed with confusion. You calmly took my hand and that gentle embrace shot a soothing rush to my heart. No wonder it was easy for you to become part of me after hours of knowing each others existence. Never did I really know you…therefore I couldn’t console you or uphold hold you and for that I apologize. Please note you kept a place in my body because your sweet embrace took loneliness out of me…confused because now I know it wasn’t you I loved but lusted.
Your friend,
Miss Jackson

P.S. Through darkness shines light, and if you feel the need to write back, I am open for a response.

Guilt,

Late nights I spent contemplating your existence and how your life affected my heart and I realized for you I contained a strong since to nurture. Your street ways filled my maternal void to guide you because I felt your life was headed down the wrong path. I apologize to you for thinking I could influence you to change your life to benefit mine. That was selfish of me! You kept a special spot in my heart for allowing me to find emotions within that I didn’t know existed. So now, I know that it was you I respected, but did not love!
Hugs and Kisses,
Miss Jackson

P.S. Only if it’s within you, Please write back!

Guilty Pleasure,

I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU AND SINCE I COULDN’T HAVE YOU, IT HAS CAUSED AN EMOTIONAL DRAIN ON ANY POTENTIAL RELATIONSHIP I TRY TO FORM. It was you that filled every void that I could possibly need filled. You gave me the best of C. Heat, Innocence, and Guilt, and for that I thank you. You showed me that nothing is as it appears. I thank you for that also! It pains me to have to grow apart from you, but I must. Although you brought so much good out of me, you also brought out something that I never dreamed I would display…JEALOUSY! I was so jealous to the point that I despised every girl you held near and dear to heart. I despised every girl that uttered your name; I despised every girl that was not me. Why, because you were the answer to a prayer that I extended to the Lord for a very long time. I slowly gave you all of myself and in return you gave me parts of you. I apologize for not being your ideal partner, lover, or friend, but you were all those to me. It hurts to honestly admit to myself that I am not what you were searching for, but the truth hurts. It also hurts me to admit it, but…you and India are made for each other. I await the day you both realize it and stop hiding behind society, pride, and other relationships. I will always love you…..maybe one day you will love me back in the same sense that I love you!
Love You for All Eternity,
Miss Jackson

P.S. It is you I await an answer! Please don’t keep me waiting long!

“Never leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.”

“The Best things in life are unseen….you do you think we close our eyes when we cry, sleep, and dream!”